Marriages, mainly across India, are considered a sacred ritual. For the youngsters and the aged people, marriage holds the position of a respectable ritual in everyone’s eyes. However, there are different perceptions of the concept among both parents and their younger children.
The idea of love marriage is still an alien concept to many parents across India. Many of them from various parts of the nation are not comfortable with the concept and believe only in the traditional arranged marriage concept. In contrast, many young men and women mostly prefer love marriage even though their parents oppose their relationship.
In the modern era, all individuals have the right to choose their partner. If you ever find someone with higher compatibility and whose standards and personality match your expectations, then there is no harm in going for the one to spend the rest of your life with them.
There is no doubt that having our parents’ blessings comes first when going for a significant decision like marriage. Thus, following the below-mentioned tips will surely help you convince your parents to love marriage.
Be a friend to your parents –
The first and foremost step is to be your parents’ friend and share a bond where you can share anything and any feeling with them. Having a communication gap with the parents is the biggest liability, and this might start into a feeling of a rebel with the parents, which never works in anyone’s favour.
As you have decided to get married to the partner of your choice and also want your parents to accept your decision, it is essential first to have a relationship where they willingly listen to your feelings and emotions and try to understand your opinions.
You can start spending some quality time with your parents and indulging in some decisions with them frequently. Slowly you must then start opening with them and sharing your mini secrets and incidents with your parents. You must develop such a relationship where you and your parents can share all the details of daily life.
You can also start discussing your friends’ situations with your friends, which resemble yours, get their opinion on the rising issues, and understand their reaction.
Dad, do you remember my friend Selena? Her cousin had many complications before her marriage, as her partner belonged to a diverse community, and both had different castes. However, they finally managed to convince their parents, and now they both are happily married. What is surprising for me is that her parents accepted the boy. Isn’t it strange?
This is just an example, and you can create such similar stories to know what your parents think about your situation and how you can change their opinions to get them in your favour.
Start with discussing matters of marriage and life partner with your parents –
On reaching a certain age when your parents think that you are ready for marriage, then you can start bringing this topic for discussion with your parents. As every parent has some dreams for their kids’ marriages, you can start with understanding them well. You can also pick such topics randomly between any ongoing conversations.
In this manner, you will get a chance to put forward your views and opinions about marriage, have a life partner and tell them your preferences. You can discuss the things that matter more to you, like education, compatibility, job-life, etc., and the ones that hardly matter to you like caste, community, background, etc. This is the best way to make your parents aware of your preferences and likings.
At the instance of the discussion, your parents might not have taken you much seriously or have avoided the entire topic, but they will surely think about it later. And if you frequently engage in such discussions with them, they might also start understanding your likings and being open to your choice for the marriage and life partner you want.
Find the cupid in any of your parents –
With the above steps, you must have built a happy relationship with your parents, have become more comfortable with them, and have discussed the likings and preferences regarding marriages. Now, it is the step to observe who, out of both of them, is more inclined towards your views and supports your opinions more. That would be the parent’s top play cupid in your love marriage.
After you figure out the cupid parent, it is the time to introduce your love and partner to that parent, be it your mother or father. It might be the case that initially, s/he might not be convinced with your choice and might get shocked after your confession. But you must patiently try to explain your relationship to that parent and make them understand and agree with your choice.
You must make sure to keep all your points more practical rather than emotional because just the confession of your love for the partner would not be enough for your parents to accept the relationship. Moreover, if you just argue based on your love and inability to live without your relationship partner, your parents might also consider it as your immaturity.
Thus, you must work maturely, highlight all your thoughts and opinions again, and state how the chosen partner would be suitable and best for you. You can also emphasize all the educational and other achievements of the chosen partner.
You must also avoid dominating the conversation and listen to your parents. It must not be about answering them back for every point that s/he raises, but you must first understand their concern, fear, and thought, and then plan the correct answer to convince them for every raised point.
Explain everything to them in a broader sense and make them realize why their fears and concerns related to society and community are groundless.
Try taking help from an elder relative of your parents who they respect and who agree with you –
If even after the above steps, your parents are being stubborn and are against your choice and preference, then you can start with involving the extended family (relatives). Try and convince any elder of your relatives whom your parents respect and adores, and might have a higher trust for them for any decision.
Once the relative is convinced, take their help to convince your parents to love marriage and stand with you as a support for any discussion.
Introduce the girl/boy to the family –
As soon as you spot a slight ray of agreement from your parents, it would help if you introduced your partner to them. Give your parents and partner some time to know and understand each other. Organize more meetings, conference calls, and get-togethers to give them time to get a liking for each other.
You must also try to give a brief idea about your family members to your love partner and give them some tips for impressing them.
Let both bride’s and bridegroom’s family sides meet –
The most crucial step after setting everything up is establishing a comfort level between your family, your partner, and your partner’s family. As all the parties start trusting each other and liking each other, then you can soon focus on fixing the dates and taking your parents’ blessing for the next step.
Sometimes convincing some parents with a reserved and orthodox mentality is a more challenging task, but it is not at all impossible. After all, the most important thing for the parents is the happiness of their kid.
Thus instead of going for any wrong decision or doing anything to hurt them, you must give the best to convince them. If not in some days, they will surely understand it in a couple of months if you become adamant and come up with various ways to convince them to love marriage.